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Jameson in homeroom pack heat? Are you fucking kidding me?Ĭlark Griswold (Chevy Chase in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation): I wish I was. Miller: How is this real life? The same assholes who say they’re trying to “protect” kids from “groomer teachers” assigning a book about gay penguins now think the way to protect kids from school shootings is letting Mrs. We can arm and prepare and train teachers and other administrators to respond quickly. Miller: After Uvalde, Texas’s attorney general, Republican Ken Paxton, said the right response is arming teachers. Miller on Silicon Valley): What the fuck, huh. Now, noncriminal Texans can openly carry with no license, no training, and-if it’s a private purchase-no background check.Įrlich Bachman (T.J. In Texas, Governor Greg Abbott signed “constitutional carry” last year, making it easier for insane people to access weapons. Republicans are the only thing standing in the way of these reforms. I’d support more aggressive action, too, like banning high-capacity mags.īiden: You think the deer are wearing Kevlar vests? Miller: That’s four achievable proposals. They couldn’t buy a Bud Light, but they can buy a f****** assault rifle? This is madness. Then the bad guy with the gun killed the good guy with the gun and nine other people.įour, we need new legislation called the “Buffalo-Uvalde Act of 2022,” that bans the sale of firearms to people under 21. In Buffalo, the grocery store security guard fired at the shooter, but it was stopped by his body armor. Miller: Three, restrictions on the purchase of military-style body armor. Liz Lemon (Tina Fey on 30 Rock): This seems pretty reasonable. These are restraining orders that allow police or family members to ask courts to temporarily remove firearms from a dangerous person. Senate Democrats should take it up this week and dare Republicans to block it. Miller: As for fixing the laws, here’s where it starts. Machine guns, mortars, bazookas, tanks, flame thrower. Mel Bernstein: I have over 4,000 weapons in my name. Miller: From urban violence, first-person-shooter cosplay, to gun churches-no other developed country loves their little hand penises so much that they prioritize target practice over kids’ lives. Miles Hahn (Richard Kline on Gilmore Girls): I’m afraid so. That’s what they think of us.įiona Gallagher (Emmy Rossum on Shameless): That’s a thing? When they throw “America parties” in Poland, they have mass shooters there. But eventually, reality dismantles the talking points. But to do so, we have to change the culture and the laws. Now, s*** like that happens every damn week. That was 1999, before many of you were even alive. I was at a different school on that April day when thirteen kids were murdered in my hometown. Miller: Look, I grew up a mile from Columbine. In 2017, Facebook will likely try to prove that it can beat Snapchat at its own game.The one door at Parkland didn’t save the kids, and neither will teachers packing heat…
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Snapchat represents an existential threat to Facebook because it has managed to redefine how people share through photos and videos.Īnd so, Facebook spent 2016 acknowledging that Snapchat's visual way of communicating is the future of social networking. While Facebook has become an essential utility for connecting people, Snapchat has popularized a new way of communicating that's highly visual, ephemeral, and fun. Snap has branched into selling hardware with its hyped Spectacles camera glasses launch, and it has already built multi-year partnerships with brands like Turner and Disney to create original shows for the Discover section of its app ( which is another strategy Facebook is starting to adopt, too). is preparing for a $25 billion IPO early next year. Snapchat was Apple's most downloaded app of 2016 in the App Store, and its parent company Snap Inc. While Snapchat's 150 million daily users are a mere drop in the bucket to Facebook's 1.8 billion users, Snapchat has something that Facebook has reason to be afraid of: momentum.